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Mindset : When my brain freaked the f* out on me before WorldPackers

Updated: Sep 27, 2023

Since landing in London back in January last year I have really 'settled'. I only travelled for short stints at a time (2-3 weeks).

When I pressed accept on the WorldPackers experience for a tiny beach town in the UK I felt that nervous excitement start to build. I worked some insane hours in the last month to try and save for this new adventure but my god, one week from leaving my brain really laid it on thick. I had some absolutely outrageous internal dialogue going on.

I think I understand why it happened though, I grew content with having a routine, a reliable group of friends and a healthy social life. Basically, life was 'normal'.

Living in Dubai life felt constantly unstable, I never really knew what tomorrow was going to dish up so I clung to that sense of normalcy once I had it.

Enter my brain freaking the f out when I decided to take myself out of my comfort zone and commit to this temporary move.

So now let's all laugh at the chaotic thoughts that I had

  • What if I don't make friends?

Lets be so for real, I do not have the personality of a wet sponge and I know how to start a conversation with most people. Or at least be civil... I don't know why the thought of making new friends was so nerve-inducing.

  • What if I'm bad at the job?

This one came from the fact that I wasn't entirely sure exactly what the job entailed, but after a few small silly errors on the first day it has been intuitive and a really fun, interactive job.

  • What if I don't like living in a bunk in a hostel?

Living in a bunk in a hostel is an acquired taste, I won't lie, it's not all roses. At least 90% of the time when I try to shower I have to give it three tries just to find the bathroom empty. The room is never uncluttered, there are 6 bunks with 4 long term occupants so belongings start to make their way to the ground when space runs out and it can at times feel a bit claustrophobic.

  • What if I get bored?

Where I am is not known for a vibrant night life or an array of attractions but I did bring two untouched books, a host of upgrades for my website, two articles due and a deck of cards. I find that I have been more intentional with my time and stepping back with the pace of life (compared to London) has been incredibly refreshing.

  • What if I miss my friends?

I do, I miss the girls a lot. They have been my go-to for everything recently and it feels like they should be here to share this as well, but they can't be. But there is always video calls, message updates and knowing I will squeeze the living hell out of them when I see them in a month

  • What if it fails?

I think this is a valid fear, it was the first time doing a WorldPackers experience, I had no expectations and arrived waiting to see what I was going to be doing. If that is not walking into it blindly I'm not sure what is.

However, it is a short train from London and if it were to go wrong or I decided it wasn't something I wanted to continue I would simply get back on a train, call it a lesson and go home. It's not that serious, but yes the unknown definitely was making my brain chatty.

But, life is to be lived and I am proud of myself for just getting out there and giving it a go and embracing the whole experience. xxx

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