New Postcode... same me?

There was at least 73% of me that was giddy with excitement about moving abroad, one of the huge dangling carrots about it was the opportunity to ‘reinvent’ myself. I know, gag at the cliche of it all, but at 21, what a dream scenario to start fresh in a country where no one knows you & there is an untapped amount of memories to be made. 💃🏼

**A tiny disclaimer, this is just my experience.

Let me hold your hands when I say this.. I swiftly discovered that even when your postcode changes, you still take yourself with you. You don’t get to collect a new avatar at passport control, although what a fun concept! I feel like this is glossed over in the travel content world where moving away from home is romanticised to hallmark Christmas movie levels. The Sunday scaries, the inability to reply to a text in a reasonable time frame, & your people pleasing tendencies all still follow you to your next destination. *Sorry angel* 🥹

When I realised that, it honestly frustrated the f*ck out of me. I believed, or more so I guess I hoped that if I got a clean break I could embody amazing new habits & become a Pinterest perfect version of me. Before you close this tab in frustration, I pinky promise it’s not all doom & gloom.

Living abroad will absolutely change you in a whole host of weird & wonderful ways. Such is the joy of burning down your comfort zone & leaping into the unknown. As humans, we have a wicked ability to be patient, adaptable & resilient when life gets flipped on its face. But I just want to be honest with you, in a kind & well-meaning way, that if the plan is to move away to escape things you aren’t ready or willing to face yet you’ll get some temporary distance, sure, but those patterns usually find their way back in when life starts to feel settled again.

Things I dreamed would change for me with zero additional effort 

🌼 I would never procrastinate another day in my life. Unfortunately it’s been 11 years & I still push deadlines to the final 24 hours, because that character flaw seems destined to chase me around the globe. 💀

🌼 I would morph into a confident, life of the party gal. This one is a partial yes, I definitely had a confidence glow up but I also still get shy & overwhelmed in unfamiliar situations. 

🌼 My desire to be universally loveable would disappear. Outing myself as a people pleaser here. 🤭 I have definitely improved with this because some people just be hatin’ energy vampires & I don’t have the desire to let it ruin my sparkly mood. But there’s still a mini Chels, buried deep, that just wants to be friends & still quietly hopes it’s not something I did.  

Things that actually did change (for real)

🥳 I got so good at saying no. Rather than ‘keeping the peace’, I learnt to find my voice & hold a boundary, liberating stuff, truly. 😍 May I recommend trying it if the thought of telling someone to buzz off gives you hives.

🥳 I learnt resilience. There were situations like when I had no job, or I had to leave my rental at the last second or having my visa stolen that were heart-stoppingly, anxiety-inducing-ly shit at the time. But the positive Patsy in me can also see that they taught a valuable lesson - I could trust myself to figure it out. And hey ho, it makes for wild storytimes as well. 😋

🥳 And possibly my favourite, doing things alone & or scared. Instead of waiting for someone to say yes, I just took myself. It’s equal parts mentally uncomfortable & freeing to learn to love your own company. I value that lesson even today when my friends give me that ‘really, you are going alone’ stare. 

So no, moving abroad doesn’t give you a severance level life reset but it does give you opportunities to grow, reflect & understand the ways you might be intentionally (or unintentionally) keeping yourself small. For me, I came out of the experience a little braver, a little louder & a little more sure. The key is, you have to lean in rather than resist when change comes. As humans, we rely on routine because it’s safe, known & comfy. But unfortunately it’s true that growth happens at the end of our comfort zone which is evident as f*ck in the context of uprooting your life as it stands & moving abroad. Looking for some extra support from someone who’s been there, lived that? Let’s work together, click here & let's chat. 🥰

Big love 😘

~ Your Friendly Redhead.